


I Can't Imagine My Death Without You

by Red_K_Alex



Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, F/F, Soulmate AU
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-06-26
Updated: 2018-10-30
Packaged: 2019-05-28 20:19:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,987
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15057011
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Red_K_Alex/pseuds/Red_K_Alex
Summary: A soulmate au very very very loosely based on "The Good Place." When you die, you're matched up with your One True Soulmate, but Lena is 100% convinced she already met hers.





	1. Heaven isn't heaven without you

**Author's Note:**

> So I watched "The Good Place" and the Instant they mentioned soulmates I went, "Supercorp????" so this happened. Like I said in the summary, very loosely based. Essentially I borrowed the overall vibe of episode 1 and the "you meet your soulmate when you die" and the character Michael. But the plot points of the Good Place aren't really relevant here, so stuff that happens later in the season doesn't happen in this fic ok cool

“WELCOME! EVERYTHING IS FINE.” 

Lena stared at the words written in bright green letters on the wall in front of her. Somehow, the friendly message didn’t do much to deter the inherent uncomfortableness and anxiety that came with sitting alone in a waiting room. The fact that she couldn’t remember how she’d gotten there made matters worse. 

She jerked her head towards the sound of a door opening to her right. A man with silver hair and a kind face who wore glasses peeked out of it. “Lena Luthor?” he said in a soft voice. “Come in, come in,” he said waving her past him. “Have a seat.” He gestured to a comfortable looking black chair in front of a desk. The nameplate on the edge simply read, “Michael,” and was positioned next to about six different cacti that took up most of the rest of the desk space.

Lena opened her mouth to speak but the man - Michael, she assumed - held up his hand.

“I’m sure you have questions,” he said.

“Um. Yeah,” Lena said quirking an eyebrow. “Where the fork am I? And why can’t I say ‘fork’?”

“Yes, well, about that. You, Lena Luthor, are dead.”

Lena’s jaw dropped and her eyes widened. She tried to speak again but no words came out.

“Right, yes,” Michael said. He cleared his throat and tugged at his collar. “This part never gets any easier,” he said, mostly to himself. “Yes,” he said a bit louder, “you’re dead. And you can’t curse here, no one can. You’re in The Good Place.”

“‘The Good Place’? As in…”

“Heaven, if you will, yes.”

“You’re sure?”

“You sound disappointed.”

“Surprised. Ask almost anyone and they’ll asure you anyone with the name ‘Luthor’ definitely belongs in the Bad Place.”

“Well it’s a good thing we let your actions speak for you and not your name, isn’t it?” Michael said with a kind smile. He waved his hand and a transparent screen appeared between them. A series of red and green numbers scrolled across it rapidly until it finally ended in a large, green, “1,000,000,173.” 

“This was your final score. Very impressive, especially for someone with your background. Most people end at about a -112 or so but you, Lena Luthor, well, you’re one of a kind.”

“You sure that’s not my net worth?” she said, trying to keep the anxiety out of her voice. 

Michael chuckled softly. “Yes, that’s something that definitely did not add in your favor. You’re the first and probably only person who had a net worth of more than 3 million dollars to end up here. But you did spend a rather impressive chunk on charity, at the end of the day, and you’re the only person we’ve seen in a long time who did that for good motivation rather than just good press. And the list of other actions you did in your life, well, no one could have guessed someone in your position would do so much good. Countless charities and selfless acts, both great and small. Well,” he chuckled, “not countless, really. We’ve counted them right here. I mean, sure, you had bad moments. You were a multi-billionaire CEO of two companies, there were bound to be selfish actions and motivations to get to that point. You may be surprised to hear this, but in the eyes of the general population at the end, why, you were almost as loved as Supergirl herself.”

Lena’s stomach lurched at the thought of the hero. Of her best friend. Of her girlfriend.

Of Kara.

_ She’s already lost so much,  _ Lena thought,  _ oh she’s going to be devastated.  _ She stared at her hands clenched in her lap.

“Er, are you ok?” Michael asked after sitting there silently observing her for a bit.

Lena shook her head. “I just… there’s someone… Nevermind. How did I die?”   
Michael adjusted his glasses in a motion that reminded her of Kara. Another hot spike of despair shot through her body. 

“Are you sure you want to know? We erase memories of traumatic or embarrassing deaths for an easier transition.”

Lena wrinkled her brow and shot him a look she gave countless sleazy businessmen in her life. A look that generally made her get her way. “How did I die?” she said more steadily. 

Michael sighed and avoided eye contact. “It’s pretty rough,” he said finally. “Are you sure you want to know?”

“I’m already dead, it can’t hurt any more than that.” 

“Your mother - ah- that is- Cadmus… There… there was… Here. I’ll just show you.” He pulled up the screen again.

Lena leaned forward in her chair. The screen displayed her in her office, and she had a moment to ponder on how weird it was to watch herself on camera before her office door opened and Kara walked in. Dead Lena smiled as memory Lena’s face changed from determined focus to sheer relief and admiration as she looked up from her work. “Darling,” memory Lena said, “I was just about to call you, I lost track of time and got a little caught up in this.”

Memory Kara smirked. “What else is new, love,” she said placing several take out boxes on the desk and pulling Lena into a kiss.

“Mmm, hungry?” Lena said when they parted, tucking a strand of Kara’s hair that had found its way out of her bun behind her ear.

“Starving,” Kara said in a low voice, her smirk telling Lena they weren’t talking about the food sitting on the table. Kara started walking Lena back to her chair when the phone rang.

“What the hell?” Lena said as she looked at the caller ID. “Lex Luthor” had popped up on screen. Kara’s brow furrowed. “How is he-” she managed to get out before everything went to hell.

All of the windows in Lena’s office shattered inward immediately with a resounding  _ CRASH!  _ Lena watched herself get bodily shoved down behind what remained of the couch with Kara throwing her body over her protectively. As they both coughed and sat up, Lillian Luthor strolled in from the office door through the smoke. 

“Oh, I’m really going to enjoy this,” she said, holding up a large gun. Instead of pointing it Lena, like she expected her to, Lillian raised the gun at Kara.

“NO!” Lena shouted in horror as the green glow began to emit from the barrel. Dead Lena tightened her grip on the armrest of her chair, ready to jump forward just as her memory self did the same thing. She watched as the beam of light shot out of the end of the machine, and watched herself dive between Kara and the fire. Then the screen went black.

Lena stared at the ground in shock, halfway out of her chair, hand reaching out as though she could still protect Kara from the other side of the screen.

Michael touched her shoulder and gently eased her back into the chair.

“I’m sorry,” he said, voice thick. “I tried to warn you it was traumatic.”

“D-did it work? Did I save Kara?”

Michael sighed and ran his hand through his hair. “I’m afraid I can’t tell you that. We’re not allowed to give you any information about the living world past the time of your departure of it. But don’t worry, you’re going to get a wonderful fresh start here! That whole thing will feel like a bad dream in a couple of days.”

Lena jerked her arm out of his grip. “I don’t want to forget that life. I need to know. Is. Kara. OK?”

“I’m sorry, Lena, I can’t tell you that.”

Lena slumped down in her chair in shock.

Michael reached out to touch her again, but she shrugged him off.

“Look, Lena, I know this is hard, but things happened the way they happened. It’s over and we can’t do anything about it now. What we need to do now is get you ready for paradise! It’ll be wonderful you’ll love it I promise. Now, come on!” His voice went from sympathetic to jovial entirely too quickly for Lena’s liking. However, she stood up and followed him. She had a feeling he wouldn’t leave her alone to grieve until he thought she was truly settled.

She was numb as he led her through the new town, even as she passed a vineyard, a brewery, and a charming little bar she was sure to enjoy if she had paid attention. All that really caught her eye was the pizza place that said “If You Can Eat It, We’ll Put It On Pizza” because it reminded her of Kara. 

Michael talked the entire time they walked out to the field where her new house supposedly was, but she didn’t catch a single word. It was only as she walked up to the house that she began to pay attention. It was a simple looking house, if not a little big. A white picket fence surrounded it and she felt a little cheesy for finding that perfect. The outside looked like something a kid would draw: a perfect square with windows and a triangular roof, only it looked like an actual architect had built it so it didn’t look silly, just modern and fashionable. She had to fight back tears as she reached the door. She’d recognize that white wood anywhere, with the small metal “4A” set into the door. It was Kara’s apartment door. 

She fell to her knees as she went inside. It was perfect. It was the house her and Kara had idly designed one lazy afternoon as their dream home for when they got married. Curled up in each other, they had sat on the couch and broke out Kara’s art supplies. What started as a simple “do we want room for kids one day? What about a dog?” turned into a full fledged dream home with a lab for Lena, an art studio for Kara, and a red sun lamp room for “working out” (among other things.) 

Michael stepped behind her and gently helped her to her feet. “See? I knew you’d love it!”

She smiled, then, but still felt the tears behind her eyes. She only loved it because it was something her and Kara had made together. Was it really worth living in without Kara?

Seeming to sense she needed to be alone, Michael began to step out. “Well, I’ll just leave you to get settled in and process all this,” he said. “Oh! One thing I almost forgot! One of the best parts of dying and going to the Good Place is your soulmate! You get to meet and spend the rest of eternity with your perfect match, isn’t that incredible!”

Lena stiffened. 

Michael didn’t seem to catch her discomfort and carried on, “it really is an amazing algorithm, sometimes the results are shocking and seem to make no sense, but it has a 100% success rate. Oh I’m giddy for you I can’t wait for you to meet them, whoever they are!”

“I don’t want to,” Lena said coldly. 

“Pardon?”   
“I don’t want to meet my supposed soulmate. I already found the love of my life, and I hope to God she isn’t here right now because I died trying to save her. I don’t want to meet anyone else.”

“Oh, come now, Lena, don’t be obstinate. I promise, whoever they are,you will love them more than you could possibly imagine. I mean, one small lifetime to find someone who you may be compatible with verses all of eternity and our perfect algorithm to find your true partner? I know you think you loved this Cara or whoever, but I promise this will be better.”

“No,” Lena said. “I’m not meeting whoever it is, and you better not try to make me. Now, please, just leave me to mourn my death in peace.” 

Michael opened his mouth as though to argue, but at the glare Lena sent his way he quickly shut it, turned on his heel, and walked out the door. 

Lena stumbled to the bedroom and sank into the soft bed, tears already beginning to fall. She wasn’t sure if it was her imagination, desperate to make her feel better, but as she clung to the sheets she could have sworn they almost smelled like Kara.  

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I'm thinking this'll be 3 parts. It was originally gonna be a oneshot but I need to go to bed now and I wanted to post Something before I did. Let me know what you think and what else you might want to see?


	2. Kara's POV

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wanted to get this out before Nano starts in two days. I'm not abandoning Undoing the Worst Nightmare but I'm REALLY struggling with it so I'm hoping to coast on the writing every day train after Nano and get a new chapter out of that. No updates for sure until December but I wanted to have SOMETHING. so I hope you enjoy!! I might go back and edit this later it's not quiiiite where I want it but again I wanted to have something out first. Follow me on tumblr where I'll post a link to my google doc where I'll write my nano and you can read along with that if you want!

Kara sat gripping the edge of the couch so hard that if she had her powers the upholstery would have been stuffing by now. She had already tried to burn a hole in the wall where the tacky, green letters read, “WELCOME! EVERYTHING IS FINE.” Everything was most certainly not fine. 

_ Stupid. Stupid, stupid, stupid,  _ Kara thought,  _ If I had just been a little bit faster, paid a little bit more attention.  _ But she hadn’t. And now she was here, wherever here was, and Lena was nowhere to be seen. 

Kara tried standing up only to find she couldn’t move her legs. Or her torso. Or turn her head. All she could do was stare at the ugly words on the wall and clench her fists.

Finally,  _ finally _ , after what seemed like years of sitting on this couch with the only sound being the grinding of her teeth, a voice came from a doorway to her right.

“Kara? We’re ready for you,” a man with white hair, glasses, and a crisp tuxedo said. She bolted up and followed him to an office filled with cacti. Were Kara in any state of mind to focus on this, she would have laughed. Instead, she hesitated in the doorway.

“Please, have a seat,” the man said.

“Where am I? Where’s Lena?” Kara demanded, refusing to move.

“All in due time, please,” he said gesturing to the chair in front of his desk. With a long sigh, Kara shuffled over and plopped herself down. As he sat across from her she crossed her arms and fixed him with her best glare. “Where’s. Lena?” she said again.

“I’m sorry, Kara, I can’t tell you that. What I can tell you is that you, Kara Zor-El Danvers, are dead.”

Kara barked out a surprised laugh. “No, I’m not,” she said.

“I’m sorry, but you are.”

“I’m not,” she said more fiercely. “If I was dead, I’d be in Rao’s light with my mother and father and my aunt and I’m not. I’m in whatever this place is. What, is this some Cadmus plot? A way to torture me into giving up information or something? Why don’t I have my powers?”

“I’m sorry but your religion wasn’t quite… right in their idea of an afterlife. I know this is a lot to process, but I’m here to answer whatever questions I can when you’re ready to accept the answers.”

“Is this Hell, then? Am I in Hell?” 

The man let out a quiet chuckle that had Kara glaring. “No, quite the opposite, in fact,” he said, undeterred by the look she was giving him. “No, you, Kara Zor-El Danvers - Aka Supergirl are in the Good Place.”

“Well, there’s that at least,” she muttered. 

“You're skeptical, I get that. We have all the time in the world for you to accept it and adjust and soon enough you won't even remember your life on Earth or on Krypton"

“You think I want to forget that? Forget everything I've worked for and everyone I love? I've lost so much already and you're telling me heaven is just more loss? Doesn't sound like such a 'good place’ to me.”

“This part is always hard for people, and especially for someone with your history. But I promise with time you will learn to love it here. You’ll meet new people and-”

Kara cut him off, “I don’t want to meet new people. I want to find my old people and go back to that life. So I’ll ask you one more time. Where…” she stood up. “Is…” She stomped behind the desk and grabbed him by the collar. “Lena?” Before she had a chance to do anything further the world went black. 

 

“Hello!” a cheerful female voice cut through the blackness as Kara slowly regained consciousness. 

Kara groaned as she sat up. She didn’t actually feel any pain, but it felt like the appropriate thing to do. 

“Hello!” the voice said again. Kara turned her head and saw a woman with brown hair, a floral shirt, and a denim overall dress. Her eyes were wide and round and she had a huge smile on her face. “Hi, I’m Janet,” she said. 

Kara rubbed her eyes grimacing when the smiling face was still there after she opened them. “Hello, Janet,” she said.

“Hi! Can I help you with anything, Kara Zor-El Danvers?”

“Probably not,” Kara muttered.

“Are you sure? I have all of the information in the universe at the ready.”   
“Are  _ you  _ allowed to tell me what happened to the people I loved after I died.” 

“Unfortunately, no. Any other questions or requests? I can get you almost anything.”

“I just want Lena,” Kara sighed, mostly to herself.

“Oh! Of course! Be right back!” Janet said, and left with a beep.

“Bye?” 

 

Lena was laying on the bed staring at the wall when she heard a chiming sound behind her. She rolled over slowly, dreading facing whatever new thing this place had in store for her. 

She was surprised to see a woman in an overall dress standing there.

“Hi! I’m Janet!” the woman said.

“Um. Hello?”

“Hi! Your presence is needed elsewhere currently to fulfill a mission for another resident. Please come with me.” Janet walked over to the bed and grabbed Lena by the arm, yanking her up into a standing position. She was surprisingly strong.

“What the-” Lena started to say before there was a crushing sensation all around her and she was surrounded by darkness. 

 

Kara heard another beep and Janet was back, this time holding someone by the arm.

“-the fork…” a familiar voice finished saying.

“Lena?” Kara said in a soft voice, almost afraid to speak too loud in case she was wrong.

“Kara?” Lena said. “Are you really here, or has this godforsaken place finally made me go crazy?”   
“I hope we’re both really here and really us,” Kara whispered, more to herself than to Lena. “But also I kind of don’t because that means-”

“That we’re both dead,” Lena finished for her. 

Kara ducked her head. “Yeah,” she said.

Lena rushed over and lifted Kara’s chin gently. They stared into each other’s eyes for a minute before Kara suddenly pulled Lena into a tight hugh. She buried her chin into Lena’s shoulder and inhaled deeply.

“I missed you. I know we weren’t really apart for very long, but it felt like forever. Especially because I didn’t know what happened.”

“I missed you too. I was so scared when I woke up alone.”

_ But since we’re both here that means I failed to protect her,  _ they both thought at the same time.

Janet cleared her throat. “Is there anything else either of you need before I go to help someone else?”   
“No, we’re good here, thanks,” Lena said pulling out of their hug. Her hand found Kara’s immediately.

Kara waved her hand in a dismissing motion and as soon as Janet disappeared pulled Lena toward her and crashed their lips together. 

Lena tried to deepen the kiss, but before it could really go anywhere Michael appeared behind them and cleared his throat. 

Kara whirled around and pushed Lena behind her standing in front of her protectively. “You!” she said, pointing a finger.

“Oh! Well, it seems introductions are not necessary! Kara, Lena, I was just about to get both of you to meet your soulmates.”

“Thanks, but no thanks,” Lena said. She came around from behind Kara and linked their hands together again. Kara pressed firmly into her side.

“Well, I don’t need to it seems, it looks like you found each other. You really went for it, huh? Most people need to at least talk for a bit before just diving into things with their soulmates even after I introduce them. Just goes to show you how well our algorithm is truly working.”

“Michael, we already knew each other,” Kara said narrowing her eyes. “Surely you knew that.”

“Oh! I guess I did it just didn’t occur to me that it was the same people. I thought it was very interesting that your girlfriends on earth had the same names as your soulmates here.”   
“That doesn’t make any sense,” Lena said. “Neither of us has very common names, and you knew about Supergirl when I got here. You watched as I watched me dying to save her.”

“And it’s not like ‘Zor-El’ is in the top ten popular names on earth,” Kara said.

“Alright, fine, I knew. I just wanted to see your faces when you were reunited. Genuine human love and emotion is just so touching to watch.”

Kara growled and Lena had to rub her shoulder to stop her from attacking Michael. “That wasn’t very nice of you, but we’re just happy to be together now,” Lena said. “If you could give us a moment to reconnect and discuss some things?”

“Oh! Yes of course, I’m so sorry.” Michael waved his hand and Lena felt the crushing sensation again and blackness before she found herself on the lawn of the house he had shown her earlier

Their house.

Kara’s grip tightened in hers as she took a step forward, jaw dropping.

“Is this…”

“It is,” Lena said. “It’s rather lovely inside, too, all the details are there almost exactly how we drew them up.”

Kara squealed a little and dragged Lena behind her as she ran to the house. Kara refused to separate at all from Lena as they toured around, and Lena couldn’t blame her. It was refreshing to see the house, their dream house, with Kara there rather than sadly wishing Kara could be there to see it. After they had seen every room, Kara pinned her against the first bed she could find. 

 

Several hours later, Lena was curled up against Kara’s very naked front. Kara ran a soothing hand up and down her arm while the other pulled her close.

“We should talk about… what happened when we… well, you know,” Lena said, trying to keep her tone soft.

Kara stiffened regardless. Lena rolled over to look her in the eyes.

“I’m so sorry,” Kara said, holding back tears. “I promised to always protect you and I failed. I’m so sorry.”   
“No, I’m sorry. If it weren’t for my crazy family-”

“Stop right there,” Kara cut her off. “Their actions are not your fault. You’re so  _ good _ Lena Luthor and if it takes us dying and getting to heaven to see that, well, then as much as I hate this situation and am sad about our deaths I’m glad we’re here.”

“I’m just glad we’re here together. I’m not so sure how good this place could be without you.”   
Kara smiled and kissed her forehead.

“I just…” Lena sighed.

“What, love?” Kara said.

“I’m just sorry you had to leave Alex. And that the rest of your family isn’t here. I’m very sorry.”   
Kara pulled her closer. “It’s ok,” she said, although Lena had a hard time believing her. “I will bother Michael until he tells me what happened to them, and I know Alex will be here eventually. For now, I’m just going to enjoy this time with you.”

“It’s ok to feel sad about it,” Lena said.

And that’s when Kara finally let go. She burrowed into Lena’s shoulder and cried softly. Whether out of relief or sorrow or some combination of both she wasn’t sure. But she knew when she figured it out, even if it left her broken, Lena would be there to pick up the pieces. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There will probably be one more chapter just to tie up some loose ends, and if people want maybe I'll do another fic where they didn't meet on Earth that was also an idea I had when I started this one. Don't spoil the show in the comments please!!! The idea came to me when Michael introduced Eleanor to Chidi in episode 1 of season 1 so working off that info is all the context you need here. The rest of the show does not matter in this universe.


End file.
